Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
