Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just want to make out with him forever
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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