I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
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We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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