1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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