What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
