Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
