He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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