Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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