i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
