I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
