I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
