It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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