Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
