How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
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Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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