The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
