If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
