It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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