We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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