I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
