I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
