just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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