Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
