too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We just shotgunned beers for America
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
