Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
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This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
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That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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