You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
