Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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