chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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