The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
