We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
