He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize