I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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