Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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