THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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