Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
