4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
