Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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