So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
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He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
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So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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