Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize