remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
