Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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