I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
