She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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