Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
