Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
