at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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