"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
