i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
