just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
