Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
