He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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