a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I will be naked everywhere
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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