well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Fuck appropriateness.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
