Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
