Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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