I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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