I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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