Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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