I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
